monster, why don't they hear your cries
  monster, why do they tell such lies
  monster, they never understood the bond we shared
  monster, they never knew how much i really cared

    banished to the water cooler with no means to escape
    forced to listen all day long to mad money's escapades
    i'm not a hero just a man who saved you
    it's nothing more than any other good jew would do

  monster, it's time to put the past behind
  monster, some day they'll get theirs in kind
  monster, they never cooked you an indian meal
  monster, they mostly like to loot and steal

    you and i have been best friends since the second grade
    i was there the very first time you got laid
    i will make your favorite chocolate cake
    when we celebrate our victory at brookie's wake